不要再找借口! 帮助孩子承担责任的5个建议

作者:简·拉什布鲁克
As humans, we often resort to making excuses as a way to avoid taking responsibility for our actions. 孩子也不例外. Jan Lashbrook, CCA的幼儿部主任, offers valuable insight for parents to empower their children to act responsibly in light of God’s love and grace.
 
 
My husband and I recently visited our son and family in Danville, Kentucky. He is the receiver’s coach and offensive pass coordinator for Centre College’s football program. 他带我们参观了他们的新体育场, 我们注意到一个墓碑上写着, “中央学院——安息吧.” 
 
He explained that at the beginning of every football season, he has his receivers write down all the excuses they could possibly make for any deficiencies in their performance, 的态度, 以及来年的职业道德. Together they drop them into a small “grave” and bury them, adding a grave marker to help them remember: “No more excuses.” 
 

开始找借口


I thought about all the excuses I’ve made over the years for things I didn’t do as well as I should have or things I should have done but didn’t do. 说实话,太多了,数不清! 我们人类很容易找借口. 
 
有些是有效的, 有些则不然, but we can come up with some pretty good excuses for our lack of responsibility at times, 孩子们比我们更擅长这个. 我不知道你的情况, but our kids came up with some pretty creative and elaborate excuses over the years to get out of things they didn’t want to do. 
 
Making excuses might start innocently enough – kids don’t like consequences, 他们找借口逃避. However, as time goes on, they may start making excuses to evade work and other responsibilities. The more children avoid taking responsibility, the more excuses they need to get by in the world. 随着他们的成长, 这种模式会对他们的成绩产生负面影响, 未来的工作, 职业生涯, 甚至他们的婚姻. 
现在是帮助他们承担责任的时候了. 
珍妮特·雷曼 让父母 offers some tips to help your child avoid excuse-making:

  1. 大声说出来
    抓住孩子找借口的机会,把他们叫出来. 当他们把自己的行为归咎于别人的时候, 让他们知道他们, 没有其他人, 对自己的行为负责吗. 

  2. 行为胜过借口
    专注于解决行为问题,而不是找借口. Once you identify the behavior, you can name it and encourage your child to be honest about it. Be clear about what you saw happen so they know they can’t change the subject and move on until they face the consequences.

  3. 保持简单
    保持对话简单. 说出有问题的行为, 找出糟糕的选择, 然后讨论更好的选择是什么样子的. 这让他们能够在下一次拥有所有权. 

  4. 树立榜样
    为你的孩子树立如何承担责任的榜样. As parents, we are called to teach, set limits, and coach our children. Role modeling is a great way to reinforce biblical principles and moral truth to our kids. 当我们陷入困境时(我们会的), we can demonstrate responsible behavior by owning up to our mistakes and apologizing to our kids. This sets the stage for them to accept responsibility and take ownership when they make mistakes in the future.

  5. 是非对错
    Have your child apologize or make amends for the mistake. There is a difference between apologizing and making amends. An apology shows remorse for an action, which is important. However, making amends goes further, by correcting the mistake made. Making amends is an essential part of taking responsibility, 一开始对孩子来说可能很难, 但随着时间的推移,它会变得越来越容易. 

赋予他们选择的权力

 
提醒你的孩子,选择总是有的. If they blow it this time, they can make a better choice next time. There is ALWAYS an opportunity for change, and children need that hope and encouragement. The more our children are empowered to take ownership of their actions, 他们就会变得越负责任.  
 
我们的神是有恩典有怜悯的神. He is the God of second chances who gives us abundant grace when we need it. Because He has given us His grace, we can show our kids that same grace when they make mistakes. 我们可以利用这些机会作为受教育的机会, so they grow up learning how to take responsibility for their actions and 的态度. That’s what God does for us, and we can pass it on to our children. 
 
“Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” 《bet36365体育网站》16

 
 
简·拉什布鲁克(Jan Lashbrook)是 各各他基督学院的早期儿童项目,监督我们的学前班和学前教育项目. Jan holds a Masters in 儿童早期 Education from Liberty University. She and her husband are “empty-nesters,” having raised three children who are all grown and married. Their youngest, Shawn, attended CCA for 12 years, graduating in 2012.
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